揭秘GMAT官网满分作文的奥秘
来源:哈鲁教育 2014-03-04
1. 字数高达599words, 充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向。
2. 标准的五段制,首段、末端,中间三段,看上去很美。
3. 没有陈词滥调、满篇废话的模板式语言。
只有以上三点离满分还是很远的,之所以SIX,我看更重要的在于,每段各尽其责,既独立又统一,形成了完整的 ARGUMENT,specifically:
下面是一篇官方给出满分的ARGUMENT范文,我们来一起赏析,看看它为何能scored six .
中间段3
Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.
末端
In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment (i.e。, coal mine)。 Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.
1. 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程,并指出其assumptions多有不适;尤其令阅卷人高兴的是:首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的三个问题。要知道美国人就喜欢的作文---总分式,在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来,然后在中间三段分别展开,先总后分,一目了然。
2. 中一的 TS -- “The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment.”可谓是一针见血,一剑封喉。对于这样严重的推理漏洞,如果不首先指出,其argument必然软弱乏力。此所谓Topic中的“必削点”,不可不察。
3. 中二的 TS – “This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment.”这可谓是剑走偏锋,独辟蹊径,出人所料。文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念,提出了要以人为本,这样写是有一定风险,毕竟这不是Issue。那本文是如何化险为夷的呢?且看本段最后一句 “this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.”我不由得长舒一口,人家再次回归了,又回到了Topic中以“Money”为本的推理。
看了GMAT官网钦定的GMAT满分作文,准备GMAT作文复习的你,是否得到了启发?是否从GMAT官网钦定的GMAT满分作文中,看到了缜密的思路和创新的词汇运用,以及流畅的笔法?做一只早起鸟,现在就开始将GMAT满分作文当做课题来研究吧,只要你有心,成功就在眼前。
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